How to Paint a Giraffe – Infant Cotton Jersey Tee

$21.00

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You’re never too young to start painting giraffes

Illustrated by the Darn Pottery hedgehogs and printed by fancy marmots on tiny cotton tshirts, these infant threads are the perfect garb for future painters, giraffe handlers, astronauts and Madam Presidents. Because they are printed on demand, it may take 2-7 business days for your order to ship.

6M 12M 18M 24M
Length, in 12.50 13.00 13.50 14.00
Width, in 9.75 10.25 10.75 11.00
Sleeve length, in 3.25 3.50 3.75 4.00

 

 

 

Attention Kids and Toddlers - your parent, an aunt or uncle, your parents' bartender, dentist, parole officer, friend or another well meaning adult is thinking of buying you an original piece of clothing designed by hedgehogs. (Yes, seriously! The little prickly kind.) May we suggest that you be especially accomodating for the next couple of days. You never know who it might be, so you might as well try to not throw up on anyone important. This stuff is really cool and you don't want to miss out.

Attention Adults - all kids vary. Some are extra tall, some are extra-squirmy, some have grandmothers who insist they always wear extra layers so they don't catch a cold. For this reason, we strongly suggest using the sizing chart provided.

Printed just for you - since each shirt is printed on demand please allow 10-14 business days for an order to arrive at your door (though most arrive sooner!). The time frame may increase slightly during busy seasons for the USPS. We work with a bunch of fancy French Marmots to produce these shirts. They are perfectionists and will not be rushed. It is out of our paws. Please understand also that custom-printed shirts are not refundable due to improper size selection or the changing of the royal mind.

Deep in the Blue Ridge mountains, in a winding mountain valley, there is a big red barn in the middle of an old, hilly farm. The barn has a white roof, a wood burning stove, two noisy dogs, a couple of humans, and an entire colony of talking hedgehogs.

The hedgehogs accomplish many surprising things with their big brains, tiny paws, and inquisitive whiskers. Because they don't enjoy the process of writing (you wouldn't either if you lacked opposable thumbs), they use drawings to record their day-to-day events, their notable adventures, and the stories told to them by friends and trees. Hedgehogs take great pride in recording only accurate information and would never exaggerate or embellish any facts or accomplishments. You can be certain that any hedgehog illustration you encounter has been fact checked and appropriately notarized.

Hedgehogs are extremely versatile and proudly self-sufficient. They fashion their excellent spines into fountain pens and use their surreptitiously prehensile tails for water coloring. Unfortunately, these same spines tend to tear dreadful holes in clothing. So after years of accidentally destroying ballgowns, waistcoats, britches and capes, the hedgehogs have, of late, engaged the services of Jean-Pierre et Fils, Marmot and proprietor of the famous Maison de Chemisiers in Paris. Several fils and filles of Monsieur Jean-Pierre have voyaged to the Americas to establish a haberdashery from whence they currently produce and distribute bespoke chemises (shirts, to you Anglophones) to the specification of the hedgehogs of Darn Pottery.

Much to the satisfaction of the hedgehogs, the impeccable devotion of these French Marmots to the actualization of the bespoke articles of clothing has been apparent from the start. The Marmots work tirelessly, though under excellent conditions, with frequent snack breaks and generous retirement packages. Their efforts are irreproachable and the results first-class.

Excellence shall not be rushed or compromised, however. It takes no less than 10 to 14 days for a bespoke order to make its way to the Madame or Monsieur the Customer. The Marmots tolerate no returns or exchanges where the Madame or Monsier have ordered the wrong size or color or have reconsidered their purchase. The Marmots will, of course, correct any aberration, gaffe or faux pas at their expense.

And now for something completely different...

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