Fruitcake was invented by hedgehogs who have a notorious sweet tooth and love to nibble and gnaw on tough, dried up, completely desiccated and brick-hard desserts.
The first time Darnit met Santa Claus, the poor fat man has lost an axle from his sleigh and had been wandering around Finland for days, on the verge of starvation and with a serious case of early-onset scurvy. Darnit shared his last bit of fruitcake, saved Santa, and got a cool hat in the bargain. They have been best friends ever since.
The Nitty Gritty
These darn ornaments are not limited to Christmas use. Use them to celebrate the birthday of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, decorate your Hanukkah bush, revel in your dog’s gotcha day, adorn your office, brighten your kid’s room, dress up your porch, or just hang them around the house for year-round joy.
Handmade by hedgehogs with a deep love of shiny things and simply too much style to be believed.
All Darn Pottery is either hand built or individually hand thrown on the potters wheel, by little hedgehogs, with locally sourced clay. Our pieces are finished with lead-free, non toxic glazes made right here in our studio in the beautiful Blue Ridge. Our tableware is bright and durable, fired three separate times to temperatures exceeding 2000 degrees. It also feels really good in your hands, with sturdy handles on mugs, terrific balance in plates, good stackability in bowls, and sturdy edges all around. This is not your grandma’s fine china. This is your own darn china.
Every piece is individually made and painted and may therefore look a little different. The minor variations in height, width, and illustration are entirely the hedgehogs’ fault. A lot depends on how much they’ve eaten that morning and the proximity of the next meal. All of the colors look great together and make your table look really happy.
You should also know that our pottery is made without any lead, cadmium, asbestos, anchovies, pink slime or any other yucky stuff. It’s perfectly food safe. Also, our farm has solar power. And bears.
Darn Pottery does not mind being dishwashed because it is decorated with glaze that has been fired into the piece itself. It’s not sublimation and it’s not coming off. Just stack gently and don’t let the critters have a party in there. We do not recommend microwaving as the pieces may get pretty hot. Darn Pottery is not for cooktop or oven use. Do not use to freeze food or drinks. Use a Mason jar instead. Basically, avoid extreme temperature changes. The same goes for the pots.
And now for something completely different...