Birgitta faced the Prime Minister, a heavyset badger seated in the center. Her voice was strong and no-one could see the slight trembling of her tail fin, standing as she was in front of a podium. “Esteemed colleagues, I would like to start by quoting the words of Sir MacKenzie.”
“Silence! You may not impugn this committee with the words of a pirate.”
“He was Prime Minister for 12 years! His words are in the record.”
“Silence. I am warning you.” The turtle extended his ancient knobby neck and swiveled his rotten egg-tooth toward Birgitta.
She pointedly ignored this and continued addressing the badger. “And I will remind you that nearly 300 years ago, this ‘pirate’ prevented a world catastrophe. And he specifically warned us then, that the seas must remain our sovereign domain. He said an appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last, and this is exactly what my disgraceful colleague here is proposing to do.
“Objection! Mermaid, sit down!”
“Furthermore,” Birgitta continued, “Allowing a land bridge to be built between the continents will destroy entire ecosystems and turn the oceans into stagnant monotemperate pools.”
“If some don’t like it they can move,” the turtle hissed and slammed his folder into the microphone so that static exploded in every corner of the room. “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted. Warden, remove this Mermaid from the chamber.”
As Birgitta pedaled home that evening, her next course of action became obvious.
The Nitty Gritty
The word “mug” can be traced to early 16th century (originally Scots and northern English, denoting an earthenware bowl). It likely comes from the early hedgehog term “muggetub” which loosely translates to “plunge bath” or “hot tubbe” in Olde English. An extraordinarily tidy animal, hedgehogs of Scotland enjoyed combining their daily ablutions with daily whiskey, frequently resulting in what is today referred to as the Hot Toddy.
Our darn mugs are handmade and are approximately 3 inches wide by 4.5 to 5 inches tall. They generally hold about 16 ounces.
All Darn Pottery is either hand built or individually hand thrown on the potters wheel, by little hedgehogs, with locally sourced clay. Our pieces are finished with lead-free, non toxic glazes made right here in our studio in the beautiful Blue Ridge. Our tableware is bright and durable, fired three separate times to temperatures exceeding 2000 degrees. It also feels really good in your hands, with sturdy handles on mugs, terrific balance in plates, good stackability in bowls, and sturdy edges all around. This is not your grandma’s fine china. This is your own darn china.
Every piece is individually made and painted and may therefore look a little different. The minor variations in height, width, and illustration are entirely the hedgehogs’ fault. A lot depends on how much they’ve eaten that morning and the proximity of the next meal. All of the colors look great together and make your table look really happy.
You should also know that our pottery is made without any lead, cadmium, asbestos, anchovies, pink slime or any other yucky stuff. It’s perfectly food safe. Also, our farm has solar power. And bears.
Darn Pottery does not mind being dishwashed because it is decorated with glaze that has been fired into the piece itself. It’s not sublimation and it’s not coming off. Just stack gently and don’t let the critters have a party in there. We do not recommend microwaving as the pieces may get pretty hot. Darn Pottery is not for cooktop or oven use. Do not use to freeze food or drinks. Use a Mason jar instead. Basically, avoid extreme temperature changes. The same goes for the pots.